Unexpected
by lrigD
Summary: Someone unexpected turns up in the FBI building... CMxHG crossover.
1. Chapter 1

**_BAD me started yet another fic. Yet another CMxHG fic. I wonder when I will get bored... right now, I have four different stories for that particular crossover.  
This came to me at 3am one night. Feel the pain, lol.  
Anyway, I'm kind of stuck with Meeting the Past, which is probably why I continue with other fics. I like this one, though; I like it a lot. Maybe it could've been a bit emotional, but well, just consider I wasn't entirely awake while writing this :)_**

* * *

"The local police determined that this is a serial killer after the fourth victim. Melinda Eriks, 45, throat slashed and clothes torn. They are desperate for our help. They have no idea how to catch the guy, they're undermanned and the citizens-"

"Shelby?"

The name stopped her dead in her tracks. Last time she'd heard that name, it had been accompanied by many shouted words.

She turned around slowly, disbelievingly, aware of the scene she was causing, but afraid to find reality – but it was there. Older, haggard and tired, but there.

There was a rush as they both ran forward, holding on to each other tightly as they reached the middle.

"Jess… Jess, I..." There were no words to describe her feelings, no words to describe the rush of emotions she felt. For a moment, she just held on to the blonde woman, hand behind Jess' head as emotion coursed through her.

"What are you doing here?"

It had to be asked when she'd come back to her senses. After nearly ten years of miss, why was she here?  
The team was looking at her, she was aware of it, but she ruthlessly pushed down the panic. She'd deal with them later, this was more important, much more pressing.

"I…" Jess couldn't seem to continue. "It… He… It just got worse, he got out, I just couldn't stay there..." She pulled back and looked at her, tears starting to show in her eyes. "It happened again… I did it again… And there was no sign, I- It was-"

JJ's eyes got big as she took in this information, undecipherable for the team, and she pulled Jess against her again.

"It's okay… You're safe now." Automatic words, the reassurance she rarely received, but yet they sounded consoling. "You're safe." She rocked back and forth, the motion used by many women before, back and forth to give a sense of safety.

She felt tears soak her shirt, knew Jess was crying, but she didn't care. She was back, safe right here in her arms. Eventually, Jess' sobs subsided and she pulled back again.

"Does he know you're here?" Jess' eyes were large in her face; still shining with unshed tears.

"No, I don't… I came straight from…"

She nodded, more to herself than to Jess. "Does anyone else know?" She had to know, no matter how painful the questions were. There would be many more painful questions for both of them.

"Just… a friend… She's not dangerous."

She nodded again, this time a bit more firmly.

"Why don't you go to the bathroom, freshen up a bit? I'll be right here."

Jess nodded, recognizing the sentence from earlier times: together, they walked to the door. She showed Jess where the bathroom was, and watched the retreating form. Then she turned back to the team, wishing she was able to avoid this scene.

They were all surprised; she saw the looks on their faces. Surprise, shock, a hint of betrayal: not even her closest friends knew this. She could see them thinking quickly, already profiling her and her sister: already trying to get information, without having to break the silence.

"What's going on?"

It was Hotch who broke the silence. Of course it was. As the boss, he probably wasn't very happy with the intrusion.

"I'm sorry," she started apologizing immediately. "She's my sister, she's had some rough… years." _A rough life_ seemed like too much information at this point.

"You have a sister?" Emily was the next to open her mouth, obviously hurt by her lack of knowledge, thinking she didn't trust her. But it was complicated; if only they could see that…

"Yes," she replied. "I… She… We've had some problems." That was a euphemism, but she was going to prolong _that_ conversation as long as possible. She could see the question lying on everyone's tongue, but thankfully they remained tactful.

"Why did she call you Shelby?"

The dreaded question. She sank down onto a chair, closing her eyes. If she gave herself away, it would only be a matter of minutes before they knew who she was: it would only take seconds for Garcia to look it up.

But she could see no way to avoid an answer. This was her team, the people she shared her life with. Just not her past…

"Because that's my name."

Her words were met with silence. She opened her eyes to see every single member of the team staring at her. Reid's mouth was actually hanging open in surprise. If the situation hadn't been so serious, she would have laughed at the comical sight.

"I don't understand," Morgan finally said. The words were confused, hurt. She couldn't go back now, but she didn't want to go any further, either.

"Look, I know this is… strange, but my sister needs me right now. I can't abandon her again, I need to be there for her. I… Your questions… I will tell you everything, but not now."

She was making dangerous promises; but she needed to to get out of this current situation. Jess needed her; her sister needed her and she was not going to let her down.

Jess returned, with impeccable timing. JJ smiled at her sister, who was looking around the room now, more aware of their audience.

"Uhm… Hi," she said to them, unsure of what to say. "I'm, uh, I'm Shelby's sister." She waved in JJ's direction. "I'm sorry to be here like this, but I just… I didn't know where else to go." She looked at her sister uncertainly, not sure what they knew, not sure what words were safe to say. JJ gave a small nod and Jess understood. Then Hotch spoke, and she directed her attention towards him.

"JJ, take some time off if you need to. We can take this case without you."

JJ nodded, but this time, Jess interrupted her.

"JJ?"

"That's… that's my name now. Jennifer Jareau." She prayed her sister would stop going in this particular direction, but she had no such luck.

"You changed your name?" She could see the mood changing in her sister; now that the first shock was away, the other feelings came out. "You let him win?"

JJ cringed; the team was coming dangerously close to finding out by themselves if Jess would keep using those words. If she would keep mentioning him.

"No, I didn't, it was just easier this way." Her voice was calm, soft, not betraying her inner emotions.

"Easier? Easier for what? To escape? To get away from Peter, Scott, everyone? To hurt them? To hurt _me_?"

"No, Jess I… Let's go home." She changed the subject abruptly, knowing it would say loads to the team, but for now, the façade she had built up was more important. They had things to deal with, yes, but they wouldn't have to do that in front of the entire team. "Come on." She walked towards the door. "I'll just get my coat, it's in my of-"

"They don't know, do they?" Jess interrupted her, indicating the team. JJ recognized the anger in her sister.  
"Jess…" she tried to give her sister a message without actually having to say 'shut up', and finally, after a few seconds, Jess seemed to get it.

"Bye," she mumbled in the team's general direction before following her sister out of the room.

Her words were met with astonished silence. The team gazed after the two blondes, a dazed look in their eyes.

"What the hell-" Morgan's words were heavy with shock, "-was _that_?"

Emily could only shake her head in shock.

"I always did wonder why she hardly ever talked about her childhood," Reid mused. He seemed the first to recover, already busy profiling the evidence.

"This isn't…" Emily stopped to collect her thoughts. "This isn't JJ anymore."

"You heard her. This is Shelby."

Hotch's voice was soft, but unmistakable. Emily thought for a moment, but then Hotch continued.

"Does anyone have any idea what happened?"

He didn't need to mention what he was referring to; they all understood it.

"Him… They both know him." It felt wrong to do this, to profile one of their own, even if she wasn't a profiler. She was one of them, which made it all the more important.

"Abuse?" Reid's voice rang out clearly throughout the room.

"It seems possible," Hotch replied, eyes absent-mindedly going to Morgan. He noticed the young man had clenched his fists.

"It's going to be hard."

It wasn't something that needed replying to, but Morgan nodded anyway.

"She's kept it in for so long…"

Again, he agreed. It wasn't fair. They had to help her.

"She's gonna need us."

"She is," he agreed. "Even if she doesn't want it." He didn't care that his own past was coming up, that they somehow saw him as the expert on the matter; all he cared for right now was the blonde that had turned their world upside down so quickly.

"What about her sister?"

He'd recognized the signs; they probably all had. Some of her words had been mysterious, but they had no doubt it wasn't good.

"She's gonna need us, too."

In a few minutes, helping their team member and friend had become their primary goal.

* * *

**_What do you think? Continue? Don't continue? I mostly wanted a scene where the team comes in contact with JJ's past (or Shelby's... this name thing is kind of confusing, lol). I had some scenarios played out in my head, but I think this is one of the best.  
And let's just ignore the fact that Jess would most likely know her sister's new name if she came to visit her in the FBI building, and let's also ignore the fact she was allowed to enter in the first place. Okay?_**

**_Please, please review!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_I was pretty much overwhelmed by all the reviews/faves/alerts I got for this story. Thank you! Getting up at 3am to write down an idea certainly pays off..._**

**_Here's chapter two. I hope you enjoy it :)_**

Disclaimer: Do we really need to keep doing this? I mean, legally? We all know it. This is just salt in our wounds, or whatever the expression is.

* * *

The car trip back home was quiet. JJ could see her sister was tired and thus didn't pressure for information. There were so many things playing in her mind, so many thoughts twirling around, it was hard to concentrate on anything. She couldn't forget the image of Jess standing there in the doorway: the first moment, the first seconds of their reconnection kept playing through her mind like a broken tape.

_I did it again_… She looked sideways at her sister, who was dozing in the seat next to her; this girl, a woman now, had been through hell twice. And she was still here, she'd run… JJ felt a surge of proud go through her. That was her sister. That was _her_ family.

When they arrived at her apartment, Jess stayed awake just long enough to be able to walk to the spare room and take off her shoes. Then, she gave JJ one last, unfocused look, lay down on the bed and fell asleep almost immediately.

She stood in the doorway, looking at the sleeping form.

Time had had its effect on her. She could still see Jess how she'd known her, but only barely; it had been replaced by another woman, someone grown, someone who knew what life was really like.

Her eyes were filling, but she took deep breaths to calm herself down. This was not the time to lose herself; people need her. Her sister needed her. She needed to be strong, to help her sister get over the horror that had been her life.

She went back to the living room, switching on the TV and aimlessly watching some sort of cooking show. Her mind was unfocused, so many thoughts going through her it exhausted her.

What did it mean? What would it do to her, to the team? They had seen a glimpse into someone else's life; a life she had tried so hard to hide. She hadn't wanted them to see who she really was; so instead, she had made up a practically perfect childhood, and she had tried her hardest to keep up the appearances. They were now crumbling down fast, until she was exposed, naked for all of them to see.

It was not that she didn't trust them; on the contrary, she trusted them more than almost anyone. They were a team in every meaning of the word, something you rarely found these days: a connection that was there without many words.

And still… would they understand this? Would they be okay with everything that had happened, all the reasons she had forgotten that existence? Would they turn away, ignore her, thinking she was disgusting, like she herself thought she was?

It had taken her a lot of her willpower to continue living. The urge to go away, be an anonymous person in an anonymous country had been great. The urge to forget everything had been even greater.

But she'd known she couldn't mess up; not like this, not now, not again. She was on her own now; she needed to take care of herself.

So she'd stayed far away from the drugs. She hadn't touched a cigarette since leaving, and while she enjoyed the occasional alcoholic beverage she was very careful not to overdo it. She was healthy, in each and every physical way possible.

Eventually, she turned off the TV, not able to concentrate on anything to begin with. She wandered around in her apartment aimlessly, not knowing what to do. Not knowing how to act. What could she do?

Before she could think of anything, her phone rang, disturbing the silence. JJ quickly picked up, hoping the tones hadn't woken up her sister.

"Jareau." She hadn't looked at the screen, fairly positive it was someone from the team.

"JJ." She was right; it was Hotch.

"How is she?"

_She_, not herself. Silently thankful, she replied.

"She's asleep now."

"That's good." There was a short silence, neither of them knowing what to say.

"JJ, I have some bad news." She mentally braced herself.

"Yes?"

"They just found another body in Duluth, Minnesota." The case she had presented this morning. JJ kept silent, knowing there was more to come.

"JJ, the victim is an outstanding member of the community, manager of a local shelter. I wouldn't ask for your help if I think we could do it without you. We need your experience and expertise. I understand if you can't go, but I really hope you can."

She'd known the question all along; it was just a matter of prolonging the answer, giving her more time to think.

Pleased as she was with the compliment, she knew she couldn't leave Jess alone, not now. Even though Jess was an adult, she needed support, and JJ was the only one who could currently give it.

But this case… it was a big one, and an important one; despite Duluth being a fairly small town, news of the murders had got out to the news and it was all over the TV now. It needed to be solved, and it needed to be solved now.

A plan began to form in her head, but she first needed to know more.

"What about my sister?"

Hotch answered immediately, apparently having expected the question. "She can come with us."

"What about-" she started to ask, but Hotch cut her off. "Strauss is okay with it."

"Hotch, my sister, she… It's not going to be easy." They both knew she wasn't just talking about Jess going to Duluth.

There was a short silence before Hotch replied. "JJ, I'm sure that whatever it is, we can deal with it. Besides, we all have our own demons."

That much was true, and JJ could not find any more objections.

"Okay."

"Thank you," Hotch said on the other end of the line, genuinely grateful. Then he went to business again.

"We are leaving this afternoon, five thirty. Do you think you can make that?"

"I think so," JJ replied, glad the issue was now out of the way. "We'll be there."

She hung up, already contemplating how to break the news to Jess. She probably wouldn't be happy, but it was an emergency solution. They had never actually taken someone along on their cases before, but she would need to keep Jess out of it as much as possible, trying to give her the time and place to start mending her own wounds.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Jess herself, leaning against the doorpost tiredly.

"What's going on?"

Jess actually took the news quite well, too tired to really protest it. Now that the initial adrenaline of seeing her big sister again had worn off, she found she was exhausted; months of living on minimal sleep were paying its toll on her.

JJ packed some of her own clothes for Jess; her sister was a bit smaller than her, but she probably had about the same size. She had her own bag already ready, always prepared for an emergency case.

And then she waited around, having nothing else to do. She couldn't shake off a bad feeling; she couldn't forget Jess words and her face.

Jess' visit brought old emotions, old fears back up. She'd always felt guilty for leaving them all behind, but now that feeling was stronger than ever. She knew she'd be in trouble for that; she well remembered the last time, when Jess had found out that she'd known and that she still had left. It was one of her most vivid memories, that night; when everything seemed to go so much better. But now... now, she'd found out it hadn't been better: yes, he'd been to prison, but he had gotten out and he had gone after Jess. Again. Jess had run. Again. But this time, there had been no Horizon to go to, and Jess had had no other choice.

She brushed away the tears that escaped her eyes, stabilizing her breath and thinking happy thoughts. They couldn't see her like this; she was strong JJ, she had been strong Shelby. She was no weak. She would not cry... She would never give him that satisfaction again.

At three thirty, she woke Jess up. They always had to be a present a bit earlier, because there were always the last papers to sign, the last things to discuss.

In the car, Jess, still not completely awake, asked what they knew.

"Nothing." JJ's reply was short but precise.

"Nothing?" Jess sounded hurt, wounded that JJ had kept her a secret. How could see make Jess she it wasn't her she'd kept quiet about?

"Jess, in this team, everyone knows everything about everybody. It's one thing they don't need to know."

Jess just nodded, though JJ could see she somewhat disagreed with JJ. But apparently, having her sister back was more important than what she had done.

When they met with the team, an awkward silence ensued. Nobody really knew what to say or do. Their usual comfort with each other had disappeared now that they knew JJ had been hiding from them.

Of course, everybody had their secrets. Nobody knew _every_thing, like JJ had told Jess. But to have the facts right in front of them was confronting: to actually _know_ what JJ had been hiding, to even meet her, was much different than the other kind of secrets.

They were all glad when they could board the plane. The flight would take about five hours, but it gave them something else to concentrate on.

As soon as they were flying high enough, JJ told Jess to get some more sleep. She'd seen her sister had been yawning for the past fifteen minutes; but now that she was with other people, she had become more quiet than usual and didn't really want to talk.

Jess complied, though, and within minutes she was down and out.

They discussed the case for a while, like they always did during the flight; but without much new information to go on, they didn't have too much to talk about. JJ's gaze kept going to her sister, sleeping on the couch, looking peaceful for once. Soon, they lapsed into silence again. Morgan took a seat on his own, put his headphones on and enjoyed his music like usual; Rossi, Hotch and Reid were all focused on the case files. Garcia was busy typing away on her laptop. They wanted to know what was going on, they all did; but they also knew they wouldn't hear about it this way, not by interrogating JJ when her sister was sleeping just a metre away. It was obvious JJ was fiercely protective of her sister, and getting info out of her like that would be unfair.

Emily, though, couldn't resist sitting next to her friend. JJ looked so vulnerable right now, her mother instincts kicked right in and she had to give her friend some kind of support.

JJ didn't look up as she sat down, far away as she was in her mind. Emily could literally see when JJ came back to reality.

"It's good she can sleep," she said softly, not taking her eyes off Jess' sleeping form.

"Uh-huh," JJ replied vaguely, not in the mood for a deep conversation.

Emily got the hint. So she said nothing, just kept looking at Jess. But when she saw JJ go back to that place in her mind, she took the blonde's hand and squeezed it gently.

"You're not alone."

Those three words were enough for JJ to get back to reality again. She wordlessly looked at Emily next to her. Then she leaned against Emily's shoulders and closed her eyes, taking comfort in the worry of her friend. Emily merely grabbed her hand tighter, not showing how surprised she was. JJ never sought support; battled ever battle on her own, without asking for help. This was new, but Emily found her respect for her friend only grew because of it.

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**_Anyone else wants to say 'aaaahh'? I don't know why I keep having Emily as JJ's through-thick-and-thin friend. Maybe 'cause in my other story (Touch/Meeting the Past), she is, too..._**

**_This is not beta'ed or anything, and currently I do not have the time to check everything... The only reason I'm uploading it now, is so that when I get home from school tomorrow, I have something to look forward to :) You wanna give that to me? Or do you want to deny my pleasure of the day? *puppy eyes*_**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Hey guys. Thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad you're all enjoying this story as much as I do.  
And I'm story I haven't updated it as fast as I probably promised - the thing is, I've had (still have) a lot of things on my mind, and I know that's a feeble excuse, but it's true. Maybe the reviews will cheer me up *hint*. _**

* * *

The hotel Hotch had booked for them was shabby but cozy; a strange combination, one JJ wouldn't have chosen herself. She usually booked the hotels for the team, but this time, Hotch had done it for her.

JJ and Jess shared a room. She was glad Hotch had thought of that. Having Jess share a room with anyone she didn't really know, man or woman, would undoubtedly cause problems. Even this arrangement would probably cause problems, but there was no way JJ was leaving her sister alone at night now.

Since it was already evening when they arrived, Jess went straight to bed once again. JJ was starting to get worried about her sister's sleeping habits, and she made a mental note to get Jess used to a normal rhythm tomorrow. For now, she would let Jess sleep so that she could start on the case. She needed to keep the media away from this; the more media was involved, the more the unsub would probably devolve.

She entered Reid and Morgan's room, which was where they were going to meet because it was the biggest room.

However, when they had discussed the case for about five minutes, they fell silent once again. The unsub had a very peculiar pattern; he killed one person a week and exactly a week apart. However bad it sounded, they needed more victims before they could determine much more. Thus, JJ's press conference wouldn't have to be rushed: they had five days till the next weekend, which was likely when the unsub would kill again.

On the one hand, JJ was glad for the proverbial calm before the storm; it would give her more time to focus on Jess, and it would mean they wouldn't have to hide everything from her sister, either. Protocol said that only the team itself could know the details of a case, unless a clear exception was made: if Jess was there all the team, they wouldn't be able to talk about the case.

But on the other hand… JJ didn't like this sort of calm, never had. Over the weekend, hell would break loose and they would have to work double as hard. She preferred the work load to be equally spread, but in her line of work that almost never happened.

After they came to the conclusion there was nothing they could do, they naturally split into teams: the women followed JJ, who left the room to check on her sister, while the men went out to get something to eat.

Jess was still fast asleep, and though there was a sad look on her face, she wasn't crying or screaming, so JJ felt it was safe to leave her alone for a moment. She couldn't babysit her sister all the time, anyway; she was a grown woman, after all.

She knew Emily and Garcia would probably interrogate her, but she just couldn't hide forever. Spending time with them didn't mean they had to know everything about her, right? She had a perfectly good reason not to talk about her past.

They settled in Garcia and Emily's room, which had two big beds and quite a nice view. Easy conversation followed, mostly between Emily and Garcia.

"Nah, they don't exist, and I wouldn't want one, anyway." Suddenly Emily's voice pierced through her thoughts, and she looked up, curious about the topic.

"What doesn't exist?" she wondered out loud, looking at her friends.

They both grinned sheepishly. "Flawless men," Garcia replied cheekily, looking at JJ.

JJ didn't budge. "They lack mysteriousness, that's it," she said lightly, determined to keep the topic away from her.

"If you'd be with a perfect man, you'd feel like a failure yourself," Emily nodded. "I mean, none of us is perfect."

This time, JJ did stiffen. Did they know anything? Or did they think they knew? JJ knew that if the team had any suspicions, they probably wouldn't be far off the truth.

"Everyone has secrets," she said and she couldn't help looking at the closed door that led to her and Jess's room. They were all quiet for a minute.

"Why is she here?" Garcia finally asked, and JJ could hear in her voice that she'd wanted to ask that question all day.

She was silent for a few seconds, debating internally what she could say. There wasn't too much she could say without revealing anything about herself, and that'd just be too much for now.

"Men problems," she settled on, praying they would draw their own conclusions. She wasn't lying, after all, though it wasn't the usual problem.

Both Emily and Garcia nodded knowingly. "Poor girl," Garcia said softly, and JJ looked at her sharply, before realizing her mistake. Garcia gave her a look that clearly said 'stop pretending and just get on with it', but she didn't say anything.

"Is she gonna be okay?" Emily asked, breaking the momentary tension. "I mean, is she safe?"

"I'll never let him near her again," JJ said, anger audible in her voice. "I'll die before I let him do that."

The sudden anger alerted her friends, who looked at her carefully.

"Who?" It was Garcia who asked the question, sensing they got closer to the real problem now.

A panicked look appeared in JJ's eyes. Her and her stupid mouth, now they knew, now they could know…

"No one," she said before she could think of a better question. "Just… a bad man." It sounded childish, but from her point of view, it was the only way she could describe him without revealing too much, without saying what he really was: a sick, perverted monster…

Silence fell once again. Emily was worried, there was no need to deny it; she had never seen JJ this fiercely protective of anyone. It hinted towards things she really didn't want to think about. It wasn't like she didn't know anything about it, but it was painful; it would be even more painful for JJ to dig up whatever she had buried deep down.

"What she's-" she started eventually, but she was interrupted by a scream, coming from the room adjoined to theirs. JJ jumped up, already running towards the other room before either Emily or Garcia could react.

Jess screamed again, this one louder; a piercing scream. She sounded more afraid than JJ had ever heard her. She'd never been there when Jess had had nightmares: but she had more than enough experience with those of other people. She stopped at the edge of the bed, momentarily unsure of what to do. But then instinct took over and she crouched next to Jess, lightly tapping her arm.

"Jess, wake up." It was a sentence that rarely actually woke people up, but they always said it anyway: JJ was no exception.

"Jess, wake up!" she repeated more urgently when Jess continued thrashing. "You're safe, he's not here, wake up!"

Jess's movements become slower, less focused; eventually, she fell back in bed, still asleep. Her breathing had evened out, but JJ saw the pained expression on her face, and decided she'd stay with Jess for the night.

She looked up, not surprised to find Emily and Garcia standing in the doorway, surprised and mildly impressed by the intensity of the dream.

"Get used to it," she said tiredly, harsher than she'd intended. She looked back at her sister. "I'm just gonna stay here for now."

"We'll keep you company," Emily said determinedly and she pulled out one of the two chairs the chamber had in store. Garcia nodded, pulling out the other chair and sitting down on it.

JJ shrugged, trying to hide how touched she was by the gesture. "Thanks," she mumbled. She sat back on the bed, leaning her head against the wall, determined not to look at her friends.

'That was… intense," Emily said softly, not taking her eyes of JJ's form in the shadows.

"Yeah, well…" JJ shrugged. Suddenly, she just felt tired. "You would have intense dreams, too."

"I guess so," Emily mumbled, turning in her chair to look at Jess.

"Is there any way we can help?" Garcia suddenly asked, her voice loud in the otherwise silent room.

JJ genuinely thought about the offer. _Was_ there any way they could help Jess?

"Just… don't judge her," she finally said. "It's not her fault."

"Of course it's not," Emily replied, surprised.

JJ just nodded. If they judged Jess, they would definitely judge her. Well, at least she'd know how they felt about her…

Jess chose that moment to wake up.

"Soph?" she asked, disoriented, and JJ felt her heart clench at the familiar name.

"Hey," she said, turning around so she could face Jess.

"H-Hi," Jess replied softly.

"How are you feeling?" JJ looked at her directly.

"I'm okay," Jess frowned. "Did I-?"

"Yup," JJ confirmed. "It's okay though. They're used to it."

"Who?" Jess turned her head to look at the other occupants at the room. Her room fell when she saw the company.

"Oh. Hey."

"Hi," Emily smiled softly.

Suddenly Jess seemed to remember something. She turned back at JJ, her expression darkening. "I remember my dream," she told her sister. JJ had no doubt as to what the nightmare had been about.

"You want to talk-?" she started to ask, already knowing Jess would say no, but her sister cut her off.

"You left." It was only a statement, but JJ could hear the betrayal beneath the words.

"Jess…" she tried to warn her, looking discreetly at Emily and Garcia, but Jess paid no attention. She had stood up, and JJ followed her movements.

"Do you have any idea what you caused?" She looked directly at JJ, her eyes piercing. "What happened after you left?"

"I-No." There was no use denying now; this was a conversation that needed to be dealt with.

"Ezra tried to commit suicide."

Her breathing hitched. "_What_?"

"Ezra, remember? 'Freakin''? The boy with the cute curls? Your _friend_? He tried to kill himself. Because of you."

"No, Jess, I, he… is he okay?" she closed her eyes. This couldn't have happened because of her, she'd been trying to _save_ them…

"Peter kept staring at your place, like he'd get you back that way. Daisy went back to being a Goth. Juliette and Auggie fought. And Scott…" she gave a snort. "You owe him an apology."

"Why? What did he do?" She couldn't fight her morbid curiosity, not even with Emily and Garcia right there with them. "What happened to him?"

"He moped around for weeks. Didn't know what to do. Rejected the offer he got for a university scholarship– all because of you."

She closed her eyes again to stop the tears threatening to overwhelm her.

"I never meant to hurt you, I swear." She opened her eyes, desperate to get at least that message across. "I swear, Jess, I never wanted to cause pain. But I couldn't stay… you know what it's like." Her voice sounded almost pleading, but she had to get her sister to see this, she had to see the desperation of her choice.

Jess snorted again and JJ winced; this sarcasm was worse than a crying Jess.

"Maybe I do, but I'm not the one who abandoned everyone to make myself feel a bit better."

"I didn't… I didn't abandon you," she said quietly.

"You call leaving us all behind with no clues at all not abandoning? You think changing your name isn't abandoning us?"

"I needed to _live_," she hissed. "I never planned for it to get so out of hand."

"Well, guess what, it did. And now you'd better fix it." Jess was crying now; the tears streamed down her face, contrasting her tough words.

"Jess…" she took a step forwards, but Jess held up her hands to stop her. "Don't touch me."

"Jess…" she repeated, not knowing what to do. She knew she deserved the angry words, she knew it was all her fault. But she didn't want to hear it. She wanted to forget everything that had happened, couldn't Jess see that?

"No. I don't want to hear it."

"You have to!"

Anger overtook her and she took another step closer to her sister. "Can't you see? Don't you know why I left you? And believe me, I am sorry as hell. But I did it for the right reasons." She took a deep breath. "He was away in prison. He wasn't gonna get out. I only reminded you of what happened – and I reminded everyone else. I left to save you."

Emily and Garcia were forgotten as they stared at each other.

"Well, it didn't work," Jess mumbled, and JJ could see her defences starting to go down. "Everything reminds me of what happened."

JJ's eyes started watering with those words. It hurt so much to see her sister broken like that.

"You never should've left." Jess looked up determinedly.

"You're the reason he could do it again. You're the reason I ended up on the streets again."

The venom in her voice was audible and JJ wished she could just hide, get away from it all and find out it was only a dream. Unfortunately, she was proven this was anything but a dream when Jess swiftly stepped forward and started hitting her.  
"It's you fault! Because you left he started again! Because you left Mom couldn't stop him. It's your fault!"

JJ stared at her sister, lost for words. She didn't know what to do.

So she did the only thing she knew how to do: she ran.

* * *

_**Too fast?**_ **_I mean, they only barely met each other again and they already fight. I don't know what to think of it, all I know I had a sudden urge to just go along with my instinct instead of my logic. And, well, this is the result._**


	4. Chapter 4

**_Hi, everyone. I broke my pattern by actually uploading this more than a week later. Bad me.  
Quick summary of the previous chapter: Basically, Jess and JJ fought because JJ had left Jess again all those years again. Emily and Garcia witnessed the fight. Jess told JJ Ezra had tried to commit suicide, and basically everyone was down after she left. At the end, JJ runs. That's where this chapter begins again. Enjoy!_**

* * *

Emily found her fifteen minutes later in a deserted area of a park near the hotel. JJ was sitting on a bench, shivering visibly; it was a cold night, and a small part of Emily was glad she'd thought to quickly put on a sweater before going after the blonde. The bigger part, however, worried about her friend who was sitting on a cold bench in a deserted part of town.

She approached slowly, not sure what to do or say. The issue was solved for her when JJ started to talk.

"Leave me alone." JJ didn't even look up, just continued to stare at the ground. Emily didn't stop walking.

"I'm not gonna let you push away everyone again, JJ," she replied softly but firmly.

"You don't know anything about me." It was a statement, not an argument or something that needed defending. "So leave. Me. Alone." _Good_, Emily thought. _Anger is good_.

"I think we've established I'm not going to leave you," she said in response. She was about two metres away from JJ now, who was still looking down.

"And I think I know what's best for me." JJ finally looked up, and Emily noted that her cheeks were dry. She'd expected tears, but apparently JJ was still holding in.

"Well, that scene inside proved you wrong," she told her. She sat down on the bench, and was glad to notice JJ didn't push her away.

"You don't know anything about me," JJ repeated, and now that Emily could see her face, she could also see the change that had overtaken her. It wasn't JJ anymore; she had the same looks, the same blue eyes but there was something icy, something cold in her glare. Like she didn't care at all. Was this Shelby?

"I want to," she said honestly, looking her friend straight in the eye.

"You don't." Again, it was a statement.

"Look…" she scooted over a little closer, handing over the jacket she had brought for JJ from the hotel. "It's cold. Take it."

JJ stayed still for a moment, then reluctantly took it. When her hand reached out to get the jacket, Emily quickly grabbed it. JJ gasped and tried to jerk her hand away, but Emily held on.

"You cannot hide forever," she told JJ softly but firmly. "One day, it'll come out." JJ didn't say anything, but succeeded in freeing her hand. She put on the jacket and turned away from Emily, staring determinedly in the other direction.

"And we'll be there for you," she continued, even softer. Hesitantly, she reached out and placed a hand on JJ's shoulder. JJ didn't shrug it off, which Emily took as a good sign.

"Can you just leave me alone now?" Something had changed in JJ's voice; she sounded less hostile now. In fact, it sounded like she was close to crying; and after the scene with Jess, Emily wouldn't put it against her. The argument between the sisters had given her a fair idea of what had happened, and it had shocked her beyond words to even hear such things when connected to someone she closely knew. Or thought she knew.

She scooted closer again, determined to give JJ consolation. She couldn't just obey her; JJ shouldn't be alone during moments like this. From what Emily had gathered, she'd always done that, always run when there were problems. It was time she faced them.

When she was close enough, she pulled JJ back against her, wrapping her arms around her. JJ froze, ready to push her away, when Emily repeated her earlier words. "You're not alone." Then she stopped fighting, stopped actually feeling anything. She just sat there like a limp doll, not receiving nor returning the hug. But Emily held on.

"It's too much," JJ finally said, her voice hoarse. She sounded as if she was on the verge of tears.

"We have time," Emily soothed her, somehow understanding JJ without many words. _And patience_, she mentally added. Knowing JJ, it was take her a while to open up, especially about something buried so deep down.

"Jess needs help," JJ continued as if she hadn't heard Emily. "Jess… she… she needs me."

Emily nodded, knowing JJ would feel the movement. "And you need her," she finished smoothly, not even surprised when JJ almost shot up.

"I don't need her." There was an odd tone in her voice; a battle between missing her sister for so long and the desire for a new life. "She needs me."

Emily fought the urge to roll her eyes. "JJ, honey, it's fairly obvious." The endearment slipped out without any thought, and JJ jerked, momentarily taken back into time. Emily frowned, not missing the movement. It was just something else that hinted towards what she dreaded.

"Do you know?" JJ's voice was soft, but the meaning was unmistakable. She knew they were profilers, trained in recognizing behaviour and patterns. Of course they'd have an idea.

The answer to such a loaded question was tricky. Emily thought for a moment, her own instincts battling over political correctness, but then she decided JJ certainly didn't need extra politics right now.

"Parts," she said honestly. She felt JJ nod.

"About her?" A hint of fear was in her voice.

"Yes," Emily confirmed, catching the true meaning. It was time to play the cards. "And, indirectly, about you."

This time, JJ did stiffen noticeably, almost pulling away from her. But Emily stopped her.

"It's okay," she whispered into her friend's hair. "We won't leave you." Somehow, she knew exactly what to say to make JJ calm down.

JJ freed herself from Emily's grip, turning to face her. Emily couldn't deny her surprise; direct confrontation was not something she'd thought JJ would do at this point.

"How do you know that? You don't know everything."

"I don't think anyone knows everything," Emily half-guessed, and her suspicions were confirmed when JJ ducked her head. "I just know that, whatever it is, it will not change the way we think of you. You will still be JJ."

She knew the moment she said it the last sentence came out wrong. JJ looked up sharply, her eyes showing something close to anger.

"I mean, to us, it won't change our opinion of you," she amended hastily, but JJ didn't budge.

"How can I expect you to understand it when I can't myself?" With those words, she stood up, leaving Emily behind in the bench. She knew she had entered dangerous territory. In a team of profilers, it wouldn't take them long to figure out her life before the FBI. Her life before JJ.

She ended up in a street lighted with neon, obviously the local dance part of the city. Music blared out the windows of every pub.

She felt like drowning her sorrows, but she knew she couldn't. So instead she walked past the pubs until she reached a quieter part of town with a river flowing. She leaned on the railing.

How could she blame Jess for thinking all that when it was exactly what she had been thinking all those years? She _had_ left. She had abandoned them. She hadn't known the consequences then, but she had been the cause of it. It was her fault, no matter how she tried to twist it. They had basically fallen apart after she left.

_Ezra tried to commit suicide._ The words reverberated in her head. She had never been particularly close with Ezra, not like Daisy or Scott. But he'd been another one stuck up there, another comrade. Even tough Shelby had been able to recognize that, though she hadn't allowed him to get close enough to hurt her again.

It was how she had managed to get through life those few years. _If they don't know, they won't leave you,_ a little voice had whispered in her head, and she only ignored that voice a couple of times. The rest of the time, she had been cold, tough as nails Shelby, not afraid of anything or anyone.

She snorted. _Yeah, right_. She had been so afraid it had sometimes been hard to breathe. Afraid of him. Afraid of their reactions if they would find out. Afraid of any emotional attachment Peter and Sophie seemed so adamant to form.

She sighed, looking over the river. It was no use, dwelling on the past; what she needed to do was find a way to make Jess see. She needed to help her sister get through this. That was more important than her own misery; she had lived with it for years, she could manage some more.

Eventually she had to return to the hotel. The hallways were silent as she quietly walked through them, determined not to wake anyone up; especially the female parts of the team. And Jess.

When she opened the door to her own room, however, she saw that Emily, Garcia and Jess were still all awake. She could see Jess had been crying; fresh streaks of tears were on her cheeks. Emily, on her part, looked up as soon as JJ entered; a careful expression appeared as she took her in.

She didn't know what to say or do, so she fixed her look on the one non-judgmental person so far: Garcia. The one JJ knew best, the safest option.

"Hey," she said softly. Garcia didn't reply, merely stared at her with her mouth open. JJ kept her calm exterior, but on the inside she wondered frantically what Jess had told them. How far was her sister willing to go?

She turned to look at Jess, trying to see the proverbial damage without actually having to talk about it. Jess looked back, unashamed and something close to pride in her eyes. No hiding anymore.

They knew about her know – they knew at least part of the story on Jess, Emily had even admitted that much. But how much did they know about _her_?

Not knowing what to say, she waited until someone else opened their mouth. What was there to say, anyway?

She couldn't really decipher the mood in the room; Jess was clearly still angry at her, but she didn't know what her friends thought of the recent developments. Did they blame her, like Jess did? It hurt to even think of it; after all those years of carefully rebuilding walls, she wasn't sure they'd keep up much longer if it was going to continue like this.

Her back was turned to the rest of the room as she rummaged through the drawer the one cupboard their room had, partly to avoid the tension. Therefore, she was surprised when two arms she immediately recognized as belonging to her friend Garcia's were thrown around her.

She stumbled a bit in the sudden bear hug. "Woow," she said when Garcia only held on to her tighter. "Relax, I'm still alive."

"You… This whole life…" Garcia didn't seem to be able to talk properly. "All those years…"

Her eyes flicked to Jess behind Garcia's back. "You told them?" she mouthed to her sister, who was staring at the show in front of her with wide open eyes. Jess shook her head defensively, then pointed at herself, and JJ got the point.

"Pen, breathing's becoming a problem here," she said, smiling briefly at her friend's comfort.

Garcia let go of her, pulling her back and staring at her.

"You do know that, now that the past has come up, you're gonna have to tell us everything," she said pointedly, and JJ involuntarily shivered.

"There's nothing to tell," she lied smoothly, even though she knew none of them were even remotely going to buy it.

"Liar." Jess spoke up, her voice still cold, but JJ could hear a ghost of forgiveness.

Suddenly, a thought struck her. Urgently, without thinking about the rest, she asked her sister: "Jess, how long did he…" she couldn't finish the sentence, but everyone in the room knew what she meant.

"Two years," Jess stated coldly, detached.

JJ's heart broke. Her little sister was trying to cope with something that was way too big for her.

"Three years after I left," she finished, thinking. Jess nodded. "You ran?" She needed to know the facts, she needed to be sure of what happened. If she knew the details, she would be able to help her better.

"I went to Kayleigh."

JJ thought for a moment; who was Kayleigh? Then she remembered a thin girl, not unlike Juliette, some grades lower than she had been.

"But she got married, so I went back. And then he… then I ran."

She could now see the timeline and it shocked her. To think that her sister had been through all that while she had been save up in Quantico made her feel guilty. She'd neglected her duties, the duties any family had, no matter how unconvential they were.

"I'm sorry." She looked straight at her sister when she said it, not even blinking as Jess regarded her for a long time. Then Jess nodded, and JJ felt a surge of relief go through her.

"You have to tell them," Jess said, cocking her head to indicate Garcia and Emily. "They deserve to know."

JJ looked down; she knew she had promised indeed, and she had never been one to break promises.

"You are more important right now," she replied as some form of compromise. Jess didn't take the bait.

"No, I'm not." She was silent for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts. "We can talk if you talk. I… It hurts _me_ to see you hurt. I know you still think of everything every day. You can't have forgotten any of it. I know you still have nightmares."

JJ looked around helplessly, effectively being put in the spotlight. She couldn't deny the accusations made, but thinking about it and talking about it were two entirely different things. She had never talked, she had _never_ really talked. Not even with Scott or Daisy, the two people she'd counted as closest to her; even with them, she had never let go. She couldn't lose them.

She knew now the fear had been irrational; they were all there with a past, they all had problems, and they shouldn't be her friends if they dumped her. So she had never talked about it, even though eventually they knew.

And she had taken that philosophy with her in her new life – not talking meant not hurting. It had been the code she had lived by. She had been tempted sometimes, to tell someone – but she never had.

"They deserve to know," Jess repeated, softer.

She couldn't hold back the sigh that escaped her.

"I know."

No use denying now: if she wouldn't tell, then she was sure Jess would. Her sister was stubborn, and if she had her mind set on anything, she'd stick to it. She'd make sure the story would get out. One way or another.

* * *

**_Anyone get the freely used quotes I put in this chapter? There was one of Bones ('It's a guy hug. Take it.' Sure, keep believing that, Seeley xD) and one of HG ('Breathing's becoming a problem here.' not literal..)_**

**_Also, I'd like to say thank you to the people who helped me through this chapter and more. You know who I mean :)_**

**_Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please update!_**

**_Oh, another thing: I kind of feel I am just procrastinating the moment where JJ tells the team with this story. Anyone else agree with me? Any ideas? At all? Tell me! I can't promise I'll use them, but it's always useful to hear other readers' thoughts!_**

**_Oh, and another (couple of) PSs: I loved Fire in the Ice of Bones. How incredibly cute without being sugary! *Angela squee* It sucks we'll have to wait for the next epi. It sounds so good... (Gravedigger comes back :O)_**

Ok, now, for all the non-Bonesy people: I loved last week's CM, too. Yay for JJ coming back, though I definitely didn't mind Jordan, either. She's cool :). It was a freaky episode, and it hints towards very freaky things...

**_*terminates babbling*_**


	5. Chapter 5

**_This is not quite as long as my other chapters, but I simply don't know anything else to add to this one. I have an idea, I even wrote it out (on paper), but it can't be fitted into this chapter, so..._**

**_But first, thanks to those of you who reviewed and are still following this story! Special thanks to CNovak29, because she always manages to cheer me up, probably without even knowing. :)_**

**_Previous chapter: JJ ran after a fight with Jess. Emily followed her, they had this talk where JJ revealed nothing and still quite much. JJ returned, finds out some more things about the timeline and Jess' life after she left. That's basically where this picks up. Enjoy!_**

* * *

The next day proceeded quite uneventful. Jess stayed up in the hotel most of the time, and JJ made sure to finish whatever she had to do as quickly as possible so she could be with her sister. There was still no new information, and the team was starting to regret coming to Duluth. So far, it seemed like a rather useless way to spend their time, because now they knew the unsub would only strike during the weekend.

Both Emily and Garcia continued to give her strange looks throughout the day. They were curious, JJ knew they were. She had, after all, now promised both Jess and the entire team she would tell what was going on. The men still didn't really know why Jess was here; they only saw her parts of the day, and they didn't come into the women's hotel room very often.

It was early in the afternoon, just after lunch, when Jess called her. She was sitting on her bed, rummaging through the only bag she'd had with her. JJ had no idea what was in it; she respected her sister's privacy.

She came closer, looking suspicious as Jess kept going through the bag's contents until she held up a small package triumphantly. She quickly looked at Emily and Garcia, who were watching TV in the room, apparently focused on one of their guilty pleasures: a rerun of _House_.

"Peter gave this to me when I graduated," Jess started softly, absentmindedly fingering the object. Then she looked up and held out the package. "He told me to keep it until I saw you again."

JJ stared at her. How had Peter known they'd meet again? Nobody had known, _nobody_.

Deciding it didn't really matter right now, she accepted and started opening it slowly, half-curious, half-afraid of what she'd found.

It was a framed photograph. The first thing she noticed was a note attached to the back of it; she wasn't sure, but it was probably Peter's handwriting.

_There is always room for hope._

It was a photo of the Cliffhangers, including Peter and Sophie. She remembered this photo. Hank, Kat's boyfriend, had taken it one Saturday afternoon when they had all just been relaxing outside.

They were smiling. She remembered Daisy had been in one of her moods where she could turn any situation into a funny one, and they'd been laughing for a while when this photo was taken.

She fingered the little figured, for eternity stuck in this photo.

She came back to the world when Garcia coughed, though she hadn't taken her eyes off the little TV screen.

"Thanks," she told her sister earnestly, who nodded. "Thank Peter," she replied. Then she held out her hand and JJ gave her the photo.

A smile formed on Jess' face. Clearly, she remembered the day as well, though she hadn't been in the actual photo. "You look happy," she commented.

"We were," JJ replied softly, staring at the framed photograph.

By now, they had attracted the attention of the other occupants of the room, who both got up and walked to them, curiosity in their eyes. JJ fought the urge to grab the photo and hurl it out of the window, just to hide.

Emily took the photo from Jess, then smiled at the figured in it. "Who are these people?"

"They're from my high school," JJ said, and Jess couldn't object with that.

"Is Ezra one of these people?" Garcia asked, peering at the photograph.

"Yeah…" JJ took the photo back. "He's here." She pointed at Ezra, who was sitting near the back, next to Daisy, smiling at her when the photo was taken. JJ smiled, too, remembering Ezra's affection towards Daisy. It had been cute.

"Wow, he does have cute curls," Emily said, and that got JJ back to the present.

"Yeah."

She could see that Emily and Garcia both wanted to ask more question, but neither could really form them. So instead they almost studied the photo until they finally took it back As they returned it to its owner, Garcia saw the writing on the back.

"Who wrote this?" she asked, surprise clear in her voice.

"Uhm…" _No use lying_, she told herself. "Peter wrote that."

Emily nodded. "The one who kept staring at your place."

JJ cringed. In one moment, the mood had gone from happy remembrance to tense secrecy. Great.

She felt trapped. They had cornered her in her own fortress, and now she had no choice but to break down the walls.

"Yeah, he was – he is like the principal."

Jess nodded, agreeing with her. "He took care of everything, and he always came to talk to us, to force us to talk." She smiled at the memory. Though she hadn't liked it back then, now she could certainly appreciate his efforts.

"Who's the woman?" Emily asked, pointing at Sophie, who was half-hugging Peter in the photo.

"Peter's wife," JJ replied. _Wife_. It sounded so weird to refer to Sophie as someone's wife. She shook her head to clear it of the thoughts.

"She was counsellor of Shelby's group," Jess told them, smiling. Though Sophie hadn't been her counsellor, she'd always felt a special bond with the woman.

Garcia regarded them talking, both listening to their words and taking in their body language. Though she wasn't an actual profiler, she'd picked up some things along the way and she had always been good with people to begin with.

She could see both Jess and JJ relax at the mention of Peter and, later on, Sophie. Since she knew what had happened to Jess, and had seen the smile on Jess' face, she could tell that this Sophie had known, too. Which led her to believe Sophie knew about JJ –or rather, Shelby-, too.

She was intrigued, she couldn't deny it. Whatever her girl had gone through, it was big, possibly life-changing, and she wanted to know what it was. She wanted to help, to make sure she did everything in her power to help her friend. She'd seen JJ struggle, during hard cases or when JJ thought nobody was looking. Though she hadn't connected it with all this, she could see her friend was suffering, but she'd never asked. JJ was a private person, and while Garcia's interrogation skills occasionally working, she felt it would be wrong to use them on JJ. Her best friend deserved more than that.

Now, however, she could not help herself. She wanted, no, needed, to know what was eating away at her friend.

Meanwhile, the conversation had continued into discussing the other people on the photo. Emily, noticing JJ standing close to a good-looking guy, asked who he was, which led to a surprising reaction.

Jess giggled, while JJ flushed. She watched them, fascinated, waiting until one of them started to talk. She had a fair idea of who he was, but she wanted to _hear_ it.

"Scott," JJ finally said, giving Jess a reproachful look.

Emily recognized the name – Scott was the one who had turned down a university scholarship.

"You had good taste," she said, trying to hold on to the happy mood that had been in the room while they had been talking about JJ's old school.

JJ smiled, a sad smile that didn't reach her eyes. "No, I didn't." She didn't elaborate and Emily didn't ask. Instead, she changed the subject lightly. "Anyone up for something to eat? All this talking has gotten me hungry." She could see JJ getting tired, ready to build up the defences again, and she'd do anything to prevent that.

* * *

**_Please review. Would it help if I said it was almost my birthday..? Yup, Feb 17th I am finally turning into something that hopefully will gain some respect around here! (in other words, I turn 16). Would it also help if I said I have a really hard test on Friday, and a doctor's appointment tomorrow because I keep having these weird things on my body, and I might have an allergy for a vegetable/fruit that I like really much?_**

**_If it would help, great! Show me your respect in a review._**

(I don't think I have ever begged this much...)


	6. Chapter 6

**_OK guys, this is going to be a pretty long A/N, so bear with me for a while._**

**_I am so sorry I have not updated earlier! It's been really long; I didn't realize how long until I looked at the 'Document Manager' on this site and saw I had 0 days left for chapter 5 of this. _**

**_First I had to wait until my computer was fixed, which took much longer than expected; then, I just didn't bother with typing up everything I'd written down (because I haven't stopped writing. I've also written other fics, which some of you may have read). Then I had some things going on with friends and family, and I just wanted to distract myself, which I did by reading fics instead of writing on this one. Also, school wasn't/isn't exactly helping. I actually have an exam tomorrow, and a hard one Friday, and two on Monday - but I'm a bit burnt out, or however you call it. I just want a holiday; thankfully, at the end of April, I will have one. And then I'll go to Rome with school! =D_**

**_Anyway, I finally finished typing up chapter 6 (in little pieces) now - it's not that long, but it's the best way to end this chapter. I ahve part of chapter 7 written out already, and it's not so hard to guess what will happen there. That'll be one of the most difficult stories for me to write, ever. So, a little encouragement would be good *wink wink*_**

**_I have to thank CNovak929 here because her story "When Lives Collide" made me finally want to continue this fic yesterday afternoon. So, unknowingly, she helped me. Thanks! =)_**

**_Also, thanks to everyone else who reviewed. You know, sometimes when I'm down, I go to this side to read all the reviews, and that almost always cheers me up. So thanks!_**

**_about this chapter... I am pretty proud, in a weird, twisted way, of the first part. You'll read what I mean. Then, after that, it just goes a bit downhill in my opinion. Anyway, I'll stop blabbering now, do enjoy this chapter! (And don't be mad at me for not updating for so long!)_**

* * *

He felt the warmth of the sun on his face, effectively waking him up. Looking at the form next to him, he saw the she was still asleep.

He stood up quickly. He had always been a morning person; he just couldn't go back to sleep once he was awake.

On his way to the bathroom, he walked past their rooms. The doors were firmly closed, a futile attempt of her to somehow cure him.

He pretended, oh yes. She had no idea who he thought of when he made love to her. She had no idea who was on his mind when he looked at her, love shining in his eyes. She didn't know how much he yearned to feel their soft skins beneath his hands again.

Especially _hers_. The younger one was okay, but _she_ was who he really wanted: when she had left, the other one had merely been a substitute. An acceptable replacement, yes, but nothing compared to the real thing.

He made himself a cup of strong coffee and sat down at the kitchen table.

He didn't know where they were now, and that pained him. A good father always knew the whereabouts of his children, and he had always considered himself their father. He had thought he had seen them a few times. A woman on the TV, a spokesperson for the FBI, had looked a lot like his Shelby. Her hair was a bit shorter, her features less hollow.

And she had looked happy.

Shelby would never have gone to work for the government. It wasn't her job, it just didn't fit. She couldn't be controlled like that; she was wild, untameable. Just how he liked it. Jess had been quieter, much more subdued. She'd wanted to be perfect. She couldn't know she'd never be perfect.

He had been quite surprised when she left, too, had run from home just like her sister.

He had been content for a while with mere thoughts of them, but he could no longer do so.

The need coursed through his veins like a drug.

And he needed a fix.

--

The sun on her face woke her up. Years of waken up early had made an alarm clock of her body.

In the bed next to hers, Jess was starting to stir as well, though she woke up slower than JJ did.

"'Morning," JJ said in her sister's direction while getting up for a quick shower. Jess mumbled a quick reply and let herself fall back, eyes closed.

Chuckling, JJ went for her shower. As she stood under the blissfully warm water, she thought she heard someone knock on the door of their room.

"They just found another body," Emily's muffled voice, not-so-subtly telling her to get up and out of the room.

"She's showering," Jess called back, and for a moment JJ wondered at the relaxed atmosphere that hung around the scene. Apparently, Jess felt more at ease with the team than she'd thought.

The door opened and she assumed Emily had entered the room. She stepped out of the shower and could hear the low rumble of words while she dried her hair.

"Where?" was the first thing JJ asked as she stepped out of the bathroom.

"Mill creek Park," Emily said, turning to face JJ. "A different spot than usual."

JJ knew they couldn't continue discussing the case with JJ hearing it, so she told her colleague that she'd be down in a minute. Emily got the hint, nodded and left the room.

"I'll try to be back as soon as I can," she said to Jess, feeling guilty for having to leave her sister.

"I'll manage," Jess replied with a grim smile. "You've got to work." Something in her sister's voice made JJ look up.

"Hey, it's okay. It's not your fault there's a serial killer out there."

"Yeah, but I came with you, I could've… I never should have come." Jess looked down at the floor. "You have a new life."

"Jess…" she wasn't sure how to continue. "Yeah, I tried to forget, but… it doesn't, it just didn't work like that. I can't forget because I want to. I tried so hard, but it just doesn't work that way." She took a deep breath. "And, Jess… I'm glad you came. Jess, nobody deserves to carry this on her own."

"Then why did you?" There was a quiet accusation in her voice, a tiny hint of sadness.

"It's different, it's just not the same." She had _chosen_ not to talk. She had had a choice, and her choice had been to keep quiet.

"Look, I've got to go," she quickly continued. "Just don't leave the city, and take your cell everywhere." She had spotted the device on Jess' night stand last night. "You know my number, right?" JJ was aware she was acting like an over-concerned mother, but she couldn't switch of that part of her that easily.

"Relax, I'm not gonna run again," Jess smirked.

JJ hesitated, then walked over to Jess' bed and gave her an awkward hug. "Be safe," she whispered into her sister's hair, then left.

The victim turned out to be Alysa Philips, a 39-year old saleswoman.

"His preference is changing," Morgan tapped his pen on the table thoughtfully. "The last three victims were all women with brown hair."

"Why the change?" Hotch asked the group rhetorically. "Why did the unsub go from seemingly random victims to brunettes?"

"Something happened," Emily offered. "He's now targeting brunettes. Maybe they remind him of something."

"Or someone," Reid muttered.

"Guys, this kind of attack is personal," Morgan said, indicating the whiteboard. "He shows signs of remorse with everyone," he continued, pointing at several photos on the board, "apart from with Alysa Philips. He's not bothered with ending a life anymore."

"So either he's escalating or he really hated Alysa," JJ threw in.

"He doesn't necessarily hate her," Reid said. "Lack of emotion at a crime scene can also indicate a mental detachedness."

"Then why only with this woman?"

"It is possibly Alysa Philips was his real target, and the others were only to distract us."

"Reid and Rossi can check out the last crime scene. Prentiss and I will visit Philips' family. JJ, I understand Jess needs you, but so do we," Hotch said, an uncharacteristically careful tone in his voice.

"She'll be fine," JJ promised. "She'll manage."

"Good. Then I want you and Morgan to work on a press conference. Try to look confident, like we can catch him any minute. It might make him panic." After that, both teams left, leaving Morgan with JJ.

"I think we should start with announcing another victim," JJ started, not giving Morgan the opportunity to talk. "That way it'll be more convincing that we're onto him."

Morgan opened his mouth, then closed it again. "Sounds like a plan," he said, "Let's go."

They found an empty office and were soon busy with the conference. It went easier than expected, though, and they were finished quite quickly.

Idly staring in front of her, JJ barely registered Morgan's voice.

What was going to happen to Jess? JJ could take her in for a while, but she'd be gone most of the time.

She didn't expect Jess to want to move back to her own town, so there seemed to be only one option.

"... JJ!" Morgan shook her out of her thoughts.

"Yes?" she asked absent-mindedly, still trying to find alternatives.

"I said, it might be useful to mention that we know his dumping site." Morgan gave her an odd look. "Are you okay?"

"Won't he just change his dumping site then?" JJ asked, ignoring the question.

"Not necessarily. He's arrogant; it will be like a challenge to him." He paused for a moment. "Listen, JJ, I know we've never been that close, but really, if you wanna talk… Or if Jess wants to talk… Maybe I can relate." He looked at her seriously but expectantly.

"Thanks for the offer, I'll pass it on to Jess," she replied neutrally.

"And what about you?" He was watching her closely. It made her nervous.

"I'll be fine," she said, giving him the best reassuring smile she could give him at the moment.

"Don't shut us out, JJ," Morgan said softly. "Whatever it is, you're gonna need friends. Believe me."

_He did know some of it_, JJ thought. He might have _some_ idea.

"Derek…" she fell silent, but words came out of her mouth before she even realized. "I know you just want to help, but my sister, she's the one who really needs help."

"You're wrong," Morgan told her in that same soft voice. "She is talking. That's the first step, opening up. You're still keeping it in." JJ saw movement outside and stated, thankfully, that the team was returning. Morgan's kind words upset her more than she let on.

"They're coming back," she said, looking at Morgan, and then she saw something in his eyes, something she could not name. It was not love or protectiveness, it was a strange mix of affection, and concern, and something big brother-like. Before she could react, he had crossed the room to where she stood and hugged her hard.

The movement was so un-Morgan like that she was momentarily stunned, and with that came the tears. She stood there stiffly, desperately trying to keep the tears inside, when he started running one soothing hand over her back.

The gesture undid her. Breaking free from Morgan, she turned around and started running blindly, away from Morgan whose kindness she did not deserve.

She had enough sense not to wait for an elevator, took the stairs two at a time, not bothering to slow down when she passed someone.

She knew that once the dam had broken, there was no going back. She ran until she had found a quiet, deserted place, then curled up into a ball and rocked herself while the tears ran down her face.

"She ran," was the first thing Morgan said as he met them in the hallway. "I hugged her, and she turned and just ran." He was surprised and worried; for all his years and experience, he had never received a reaction quite like this, especially not from someone he considered a friend.

They all absorbed the information, but didn't know where to look for her. Giving up for the moment, they moved to 'their' room and started sharing the information they had gathered, until Emily suddenly gasped and stood up. "I know where she is," she said breathlessly, and without another word she left.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Here's chapter 7, finally - it took me pretty long to update, I know.  
There are a couple of reasons for that... I'm not gonna lie, I was rather discouraged by the lack of reviews last chapter (though I thank those who did review). I haven't been 'feeling' this story a lot lately, and I'm kind of disconnected with the whole idea. Therefore, I have no idea when I will update again - but it definitely won't be next week, because then I'll be in Rome! And, truth be told, I haven't been so much into Criminal Minds lately, though I'm still watching. I loved the 'women vs car' conversation they had in the plane, lol. _**

**_Previous chapter: Morgan hugged JJ who freaked and ran. Emily followed her after a while, knowing where she went._**

* * *

Emily had been right; apparently, she knew JJ better than either of them had thought.

JJ was curled up on the wooden bench they had sat on two days ago, her head resting on her knees. Even from a distance, Emily could hear the sobs. It broke her heart to see this beautiful, accomplished woman cry and not even know what was going on, not really. She walked forwards, not wanting to scare JJ, but she didn't even look up.

Emily didn't really know what to do. She'd never seen JJ cry before, had hardly ever seen her vulnerable. The intensity of her emotions lately was enough to scare her. This JJ was new, and Emily was afraid she'd only make it worse by trying to help.

She sat down on the bench, right next to JJ. Hesitantly, she laid a hand on JJ's shoulder. JJ jerked away from the touch and drew her arms tighter around herself.

"JJ…" The hand on the blonde's shoulder somehow turned into an arm across her shoulder, until they had both turned and JJ was soaking Emily's shirt with her tears.

She wasn't just crying, she was gasping wildly, uncontrollably for God knew what. Her sister, herself? Everyone? Emily didn't know, but she knew this was a good thing at its core, so she gripped JJ only tighter and didn't care about the mess JJ was making of her shirt.

Somewhere along the line, her brain had stopped working properly and she was acting purely on instinct. The part of her that was a mother simply took over. It had been used before, but never this long, never this intense.

She subconsciously started rocking back and forth, like she had seen JJ do with her sister.

Emily had often cursed her mother instincts because they could cloud her judgment, but at this moment, she was grateful for it, grateful because JJ needed a mother and a friend and had allowed Emily to be both. She suspected JJ's –or Shelby's– own mother had never been there for her. She also suspected it was a father, stepfather or uncle who had done this to both JJ and Jess and knew their mother had probably protected the man.

Emily couldn't fathom why anyone would willingly protect a monster like that, but love worked in mysterious ways. To them, there was no excuse, but to JJ's mother, maybe there was.

"Ssssh, it's gonna be okay, it's gonna be fine," she whispered into JJ's hair. "You're safe now." Her legs were starting to cramp, but she wouldn't complain.

Eventually, JJ looked up. She looked a mess: her hair was messy, her eyes red and puffy with mascara running down her face.

Emily watched her with what she hoped was an encouraging, 'I'm here for you'-smile. Tears were still running down her friend's face, so she carefully wiped them away with her thumbs.

"You'll be okay," she told JJ again. "We've got your back."

"It's not my back I'm worried about," JJ mumbled, her voice hoarse.

"Jess?" Emily half-guessed, watching JJ's face closely.

"She's been through so much," JJ whispered. "More than even I could imagine."

"JJ, tell us what happened," Emily whispered back gently. She saw a flash of fear cross JJ's face and knew what she was thinking about.

"Nobody will let you down," Emily told her. She couldn't stop the hint of desperation in her voice. "Nobody will turn away from you."

She both saw and felt the change in JJ: a quiet determination took hold of her.

"You have to understand… I wasn't myself back then, I mean, I was, but I wasn't like you know me, I wasn't really JJ…" Through the rambling, Emily vaguely heard the plea in JJ's voice.

"Tell me then," she insisted, trying to find a way in. She was a bit afraid of what she'd heard, but she had to know. She had to help JJ.

"I was tough," she started, and then paused, trying to find the right words.

"You still are," Emily encouraged her.

"No…" JJ shook her head. "Different." She snorted. "I was a bitch."

Against her better judgment, Emily tried to picture a bitchy JJ. Her mind came up empty.

"But I only was like that because I was so damn afraid all the time." She turned to Emily, who had been caught off guard by the sudden emotional confession.

"Afraid I wasn't strong enough, afraid others would find out… Afraid I'd have to go back to everything I had escaped." A sob escaped her. "There were times I just wanted to get away, but then I knew I had to go on for Jess. I couldn't let him get to her."

"JJ, who? What happened?" Emily asked, failing to keep the urgency from her voice.

"Don't you already know?" JJ replied uncharacteristically bitter. "Profilers and all that?"

"JJ…" she searched for the right words. "Maybe I have my suspicions. But this isn't about me; it's about you, and you need to get this out before it consumes you."

This caused a fresh wave of tears, but JJ held her head up straight.

"My parents got divorced when I was young… my mom remarried." She sought Emily's eyes.

"This guy, Walt…" she shivered unconsciously. "He seemed kind, and he actually gave me some attention, and not just Jess. That was all I wanted…"

She swallowed. "But then he started giving me _too_ much attention…"

Emily nodded. "You don't have to tell me, JJ," she whispered. "I know what you mean." As a profiler, she knew it would be better for JJ to talk about everything, including her experiences; but as a friend, she just wanted to make JJ hurt as little as possible.

"And I couldn't tell anyone… He'd hurt her…" JJ continued, oblivious to Emily's words. "So I kept my mouth shut and I stayed silent. But then… it got too much and I had to get away, I just couldn't take it anymore… and I was stupid enough to believe he'd keep his promise." She snorted, angrily wiping away the tears in the corners of her eyes.

"I had nowhere to go though, so I… I had to stay on the streets…and I had to find a way to survive."

Emily's eyes widened, but she tried to keep her voice even. "How did you do that?"

JJ gave her a filthy look. "You know how."

"I need to hear you say it," Emily retorted.

She saw a flicker of anger in JJ's eyes.

"Why?" she asked, frustrated. When Emily didn't reply, she sighed.

"I slept with men for money. Is-is that what you want to hear?"

She stood up, walking away from Emily, who quickly jumped up to follow her friend.

"But you were rescued," she whispered when she had reached JJ. "Someone got you off the streets."

"Yeah…" JJ replied despite herself. "That's where I met Peter and everyone else."

Emily nodded, recognizing the name from the conversations between JJ and her sister.

"Peter was head of this school, Horizon... he saved me. Horizon saved me."

The name rang a bell in the back of Emily's mind; something about a case a long time ago, maybe... She shook it off as JJ continued to speak.

"And right after they found out, I had to go back to – to that place, 'cause he got _sick_." She spat out the word. "I had to take care of him."

Emily couldn't imagine how hard that must've been for JJ: to have to take care of the man who destroyed her.

"And I found out... Jess... he'd lied." She balled her fists. "I shouldn't have been surprised; they never keep their promises. That's one thing I learnt doing this job." She looked at Emily. "I called the police, and they got him. I went back to Horizon and graduated, leaving Jess there. And then I disappeared."

"You changed your name?" Emily guessed.

"I know it hurt them, to never hear of me... they must've thought I was dead, but I just couldn't continue living the life of Shelby Merrick. I was sick of being a victim. Shelby... she was weak, damaged goods. JJ isn't."

The distinction between the two names worried Emily, but she didn't say anything.

"I knew someone named Jareau, and I'd always liked Jennifer... So that's who I became," she ended her story.

"And why is Jess here now?" Emily asked gently. She remembered the confusing conversation JJ and her sister had had, but she had to hear it from JJ's mouth.

"He got free." JJ's voice was full of disgust. "And he started again, so Jess ran and ended up like I had."

"Oh..." For a moment, she was lost for words. For all her experience, both on the job and her own, she had no idea how to react.

"If she can testify, he can go behind bars again – and he'll stay there for longer, now that he has reverted back to his old ways," she therefore told JJ, knowing it was not the most sensitive thing to say, but wanting to break the silence with something, anything.

JJ shook her head. "Last time it broke up our family." Seeing Emily's confused look, she elaborated. "My mom protected him, and she only admitted so that they wouldn't take Jess away." She snorted. "I still don't know if she's just afraid, or if she really is that dumb."

JJ looked calmer now, more like her usual self (though still agitated). Emily suggested that they went back to the police station, hoping JJ would be calm enough to deal with it. She nodded, and together they turned to walk back.

"JJ..." she wanted to say something before they were surrounded by the team again.

"I know it was hard to tell me all this... but thank you for doing so. It may hurt, but it's better in the end, trust me." JJ didn't reply and she pressed on. "And if you ever want to talk... or just want to hang out, or cry, and you need a friend, I am here for you." JJ nodded, keeping her eyes on the path ahead of them.

"Thank you," she said moments later, seemingly out of nowhere. But Emily knew what she was talking about, and without a word she took JJ's cold hand.

* * *

**_Wow, re-reading this chapter makes me wish I had an Emily in my life. Or a Garcia, for that matter. =)_**

**_So what do you think? Are you devastated that updates will be very irregular? Do you hate my story? Please review!_**


	8. Chapter 8

**_I know, an update! You must've been so surprised._**

**_The point is, I've got a holiday now (though I won't have a lot of free time - I am working 2 jobs at the moment, and sometimes 3) and I can no longer neglect this huge pile of stories I have, waiting to be finished.  
But as I was reading the previous chapter of Unexpected, it came to me what a perfect ending it actually was.  
So here I am, and this is the last chapter - an epilogue of sorts. I'm not entirely satisfied with the way this story finished, but to be honest, I just have some sort of brain freeze when it comes to HG/CM._**

Anyways... I'll stop my rambling. Enjoy this chapter! And thanks so much to everyone who reviewed and supported me. I wouldn't have gotten this far without y'all. 

* * *

"Hey Em, where's the file on Jason McDowell you had for me?" She walked into the bullpen, feeling self-conscious and expecting all eyes to be on her.

After their last case in Duluth she had taken some time off, trying to get her sister into the rhythm of a DC life. Jess had decided to move to the US capital, at least temporarily. Wanting to keep her sister close, JJ hadn't objected. She had helped Jess find an apartment and had managed to find one quickly, with the help of one of Morgan's friends in housing. After that, they had decorated the house together. JJ had made a point of staying close to Jess, just to make sure her sister knew she wasn't alone this time.

She knew what it was like to be alone. To feel like nobody understood you, and nobody would appreciate and accept the choices you had made. She didn't want Jess to have to go through the same thing.

"Yeah, it's right here." Emily lifted a standard beige package from her desk, not looking up from her computer screen.

"Thanks." She walked over and took the envelope, recognizing a profiler at work when she saw one.

JJ paused near the stairs and looked back into the bullpen. Everybody was at work. Morgan was sitting lazily in his chair, but she knew his mind was working. Emily was still engrossed in her computer, and Reid was unconsciously mouthing the words along as he slowly –for his usual tempo– read an e-mail JJ had sent him earlier. Hotch and Rossi were nowhere to be seen, but she knew they were both at work in their own offices.

And all of a sudden, unexpectedly, tears came to her eyes. These were the people who had helped her and consoled her by just being them. They hadn't backed down like she'd expected they would when she told them her story, after she had told it to Emily that night in the park in Duluth. They had been wonderful and supportive. Hotch had even hugged her, which had been the most surprising moment in the last hectic week.

Her eyes rested on Emily. Emily had never stopped looking out for her. Sometimes, she came into her office just to talk, with or without Garcia. JJ had the feeling Emily finally felt like she belonged here – and irrational as it was, she was quite proud that _she_ had started that, right when Jess had suddenly appeared in the FBI.

A soft smile lit her face. Jess… it was so great to not have to worry anymore, to finally _know_ where one of the people she loved most in the world was. Jess had much more to overcome, but at least she'd have someone to help her.

JJ hadn't noticed Morgan coming closer until he stood right beside her. "Everything okay?" he asked worriedly, taking in her wet face.

"Yeah," she wiped her tears away, "I'm fine." She smiled to prove it. "I was just… reminiscing."

Morgan nodded: he, more than anyone, knew what JJ would feel like in moments like these.

He regarded her for a while, taking in her blue eyes and long, blonde hair. She looked happier, and he knew that, but somewhere deep down he felt a pang of something. Whether it was guilt, admiration, pain or something else he didn't know, but it made him move forward and wrap his arms around her.

He could feel her surprise, but then she softened against him and he knew she was okay.

While he held her, JJ tried to figure out what exactly was it she was feeling right now. She couldn't classify it.

But whatever it was, right now she knew it didn't matter. She had a chance to be happy. She had everyone she wanted to have near her, and she could not think of anyone she'd rather be with.

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End file.
